I don’t really think of myself as the Swami-following type.
I haven’t changed my name to Starseeker or Bhaba BlueFlower. Still, it is the Swami’s voice from my two-week stay in that Northern Indian ashram that keeps repeating along my internal auditory synaptic-loop.
In his Bollywood FM-modulated voice Swami Brahmdev repeats, “Step back.”
In my defense, he wasn’t just saying this to me. He said this in several of our regular morning satsang sessions; where we sat, either in collective silence or, where we could ask the Swami any existentially angst-ridden questions that were bothering us.
This particular refrain to step back and sit with the question is the one that caught me. Being the ADHD-Let’s-Get-‘Er-Done kind of woman that I am, you can probably see why I sometimes thought he was looking straight at me when he spoke these words.
Which brings me to our current downsizing situation.
Yesterday, as Kevin and I drove around looking for storage solutions, I realized that we were trying to buy our way out of this chaos. It is the same thing that magazines do all the time:
- Buy this organizer!
- Buy this closet!
- Buy this bin!
- For only $169.95 (or perhaps $1,169.95) – your life will be in order!
To be fair, these are all fine and worthy things. Organizational accoutrements work in small spaces like boats, space capsules and are sure to prove to be a big boon in our new apartment.
But. First THIS..THEN that.
First,
I must step back, assess these piles of things, and ask myself, what is it I’m trying to store? Do I still need this item? Surely, I say to myself, we already did this in Sechelt? Surely, my name’s not Shirley. Surely, I should be done by now! Then, I get back on track and ask the remaining questions like, Do I need to buy a system of organization just to stuff it full of all sorts of things that I don’t regularly use? Could I rent this item on the occasions that I need it? Could I give these things (artist supplies, paints, stencils etc) to someone I love for their use and then have occasional artist dates with them?
Then,
and only then can I figure out how to structure the organization of the remaining stuff.
Don’t I sound just like a grown-up? Surely the Swami would be proud of me.
The gong show continues.
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testing the comment form with spam-free wordpress activated; I had to shut it off when your users couldn’t submit comments. Let’s see if the updates worked!
Testing 1, 3, 16, 16…I do believe it’s working Laurie! You’re the Queen of All Things Geek!
Colleen, we are living vicariously through you!
You have jumped through a leap of faith, and it must be wonderful to
shed the items you no longer need in a daily way! Very Buddhist!.
I do think after all the emotions and doubts clear, that your life will
be so much simpler and uncluttered! Good for you!
Laurie, I’m not feeling particularly Zen yet…still way too many martini glasses to contend with to qualify me to hang out with the Dalai Lama!
However, with each box that gets dealt with, I am truly feeling a lifting of some psychic weight and thinking that this just might work out:)
Colleen, we are right there with you! Our youngest son is off to college in less than a year and we’re definitely in purging / organizing / taking-a-step-back-and-looking-at-the-junk we’ve crammed into our huge home. More junk drawers = more junk. Truth.
We’re just starting along the downsizing path and I’m really very excited. Almost as though I’m physically going to lose weight with every box of Legos and broken down transistor (remember those?) radios I find new homes for. I feel fat. House fat. Too many of everything and not enough real space.
Our youngest doesn’t believe we can do it–downsize from a 5-bathroom home that was once filled with the chaos of 4 children, a dog, a cat and one mother in law — to a less than 1200 square foot apt in the city. He’s only known this life. (Wait till he sees his dorm room!).
I am enjoying following you on this new journey of yours. As hard as it is to part with “things” sometimes, there is such a lightness when you let go.
Oh Gwen, it’s so nice to have company! Especially yours 🙂 I just met an older woman in our elevator (I was taking down some boxes for recycling) and she congratulated me on moving in. She and her husband moved in a year ago from a full-sized house, “Oh,” she said, “there is such a feeling of lightness when it’s all done!”
Such lovely encouraging words for both(!) of us, right?