You knew I couldn’t stay away from it right?
Death, I mean.
The BIG topic that encompasses everything.
You’re probably thinking, surely to goodness, the woman has exhausted the subject?
Besides, isn’t this supposed to be a bloody travel blog?
Where’s the Top Ten Tips for Travellers? Where’s the Hot Deals for Honolulu?
Uh, sorry, not sorry. I seem to have long ago deviated from the hand-out.
Instead, I want to tell you about the longest it’s ever taken me to a read a book. In fact, I’m going to recommend this book and I haven’t even finished it! (Note the exclamation mark, for more on that topic, please go to this post).
I’m only three-fifths of the way through this book. I know it’s only three-fifths because it’s called The Five Invitations and I’ve only finished reading the third one. Therefore…well, seriously, must I explain? Clearly, it’s a math thing.
Tonight I will be attending the third night of this pop-up five week book club comprised of hospice people. Cuz apparently that’s what we do in the down time between volunteering – spend even more time discussing death.
And you know what?
I am thrilled to have discovered people who dive into this topic with no guard rails, no concern about the depth or the waves or the possible tsunamis of grief that might be triggered by such a conversation. Instead, we all plunge in and take turns treading water or floating or otherwise splashing around.
I’ll stop with the watery metaphors now. I think what I’m trying to say, is that between this new group of people, the aforementioned book and the actual volunteering, I feel more alive than ever.
Crazy right?
Which brings us to the book. For over 30 years, Frank Ostaseski, co-founder of the Zen Hospice Project in San Fransisco, has, “…sat on the precipice of death with a few thousand people.” From these experiences he has distilled what death can teach the rest of us; the ones who don’t yet know our best-before date, those of us still blithely carrying on with no thought of the possible meteorite heading our way.
His book, “…is an invitation…to sit down with death…to let her guide you toward living a more meaningful and loving life.”
I decided that I would not read ahead. This is not my usual method. I am a fast reader. I like to finish a book and get on with things. However, I promised myself that I would only read one invitation each week in preparation for the book club discussion. I missed the first meeting because we were moving, and I, apparently, cannot keep two things in my brain’s agenda at the same time.
However, I went last week and I will be heading out the door in a couple of hours to discuss the third invitation. Between the reading of the book, the discussion, and my recent hospice volunteering, I feel something deepening, like my life has acquired an underpainting, a kind of unnameable quality that is like a luminous layer glowing underneath everything else.
I hope that you will find your way to reading this book.
But in case you don’t, let me leave you with the five invitations he has gleaned from working with the dying. They are fairly self-explanatory, but in the book he uses examples from his huge wealth of experiences. Combined with his compassionate and wise words, he offers a guide to living that is inspiring and powerful.
Don’t Wait
Welcome Everything, Push Away Nothing
Bring Your Whole Self to the Experience
Find a Place of Rest in the Middle of Things
Cultivate Don’t Know Mind
***
“Now is the season to know that everything you do is sacred.” – Hafiz
Ok, your love of life is shining bright here, even if you are talking about death before, during and after. No exclamation point. I see your point. Love life while it’s right now, and watch what happens. Hopefully it will include a trip to Australia, New Zealand or Canada! Oops, I let one slip.
Your readers appeciate your views, whether they’re in a room of hospice patients or along a solitary country road.
Keep on telling it.
Colleen, you were doing so well – such remarkable restraint up until that one little slip, but hey, we’re talking about love of life, so really exclaim away!
Thank you so much for your lovely comment. I’m glad you’re part of this conversation. It’s so much more fun together, eh? (that’s my nod to Canada).
Well, hmmm, that is one heck of a recommendation. I’m in. It sounds like you’re definitely onto something here with the “aliveness” of it all. Thank you for sharing this – your journey – with all of us. It’s so much more important (sorry, but it is ) than the top 10 things to do in Bora Bora.
Funny eh? That all this thinking about death is strangely life-enhancing. Gwen, I can’t wait to hear what you think. Until then, Bora-Bora can wait 🙂
I fell in love with hospice when my mother died last year. What a blessing it was for her and for me. I have thought about volunteering myself. I will definitely read this book.
I’m glad you’re sharing this journey of yours, I look forward to reading more.
I know we’ve never met in person Becca, but I feel like I know so much about you through your wonderful writing, and because of that knowledge, I know you’d be an awesome volunteer. It’s got your name all over it. I’m glad you’ll read the book. I look forward to hearing your thoughts.
If life is a journey, death is a destination? (so your blog is sort of travel related.)
I like to talk about death, as in, it’s not a scary topic for me and I wish more people would be open to talking about it. I’m happy for you that you have found a community to talk with. If I wasn’t so maxed on volunteering projects, I’d sign up for hospice volunteering based on your blog. Happy reading. 🙂
I like how you did that Elinor. You’re right, it is definitely travel-related. Maybe our ease around the topic is part of the whole Mennonite thing?
I think it’s pretty cool you’re maxed on volunteering projects – that’s pretty wonderful.