23 Responses

  1. Mary Ediger
    Mary Ediger at |

    Wonderful and powerful post. Thanks for that. I think the hot flashes are part of the process of burning out all of the old unnecessary shit we carry around. I say rip off whatever you can and let ’em burn itself out. Then have a martini.

  2. M. J. St. Amand
    M. J. St. Amand at |

    Colleen…I blissfully survived my fifties without ANY hot flashes, thanks to a daily pill of GNC Dong Quoi herb. Other brands didn’t work as well, but unfortunately, last time I checked, they no longer carry it. Perhaps you could experiment with the current market brands, and find one that would work for you. Love your sharing. Please pray for this country with a selfish madman at the helm.

    MJ xx00

  3. Catherine
    Catherine at |

    I love the photo of Norman Rockwell – the ‘perfect family’ with smiling children faces – you can almost smell the gravy … Everything is perfect in a perfect world. But the reality is far from it, we all want to give others the impression that everything is perfect in our world. I believe that it is good to share our innermost struggles to people who listen to you and are sympathetic. We’re all humans.
    Regarding hot flushes, I used to take black Cohosh for a while and it did help but I didn’t suffer too much. Have you thought of trying homeopathy? Perhaps it will help.
    Good luck.

  4. Martha
    Martha at |

    Wow!  I did not know that about your parents.  I always thought your Mom was uptight or wound up and critical of us sinners.  Do you remember Sunday afternoon visits for “Faspa” (bread or zwiebeck & jam, baking always made fresh on Saturday)? Upon entering, she’d run her finger over window sills or furniture to show our Mom how much we’d missed. Then we’d catch it when you left. Probably why Dad bought a Filter Queen vacuum cleaner — cleanliness was next to Godliness — don’t ya know? As a teenager, I absolutely hated dusting in between the spokes of the chairs or getting down on my hands and knees to make sure every corner was clean, but now it’s ingrained and I can’t do it any other way.  Go figure. But your Dad was always smiling and I know he enjoyed playing with us. I doubt we owned a baseball, but I remember playing catch and softball in the field next to the house. Hard to believe he was ever depressed or had a breakdown.

    As for hot flashes, this too shall pass. For me, I hate to say, it was coffee or chocolate that sent my arms up in the air — almost instantly. At 72, I can now tolerate one cup of coffee but nothing more if I want to sleep. My doc recommended the Estrogen patch or gel, but I’ve still got the unopened pressurized can in the closet. I was too afraid of the big C. When your estrogen supply diminishes so do your hot flashes, but here’s the kicker: your skin starts to wrinkle and sag … can’t have your cake and eat it too!

  5. mary lynne jackson
    mary lynne jackson at |

    p.s. – go and kick start that air conditioner in the middle of winter

  6. mary lynne jackson
    mary lynne jackson at |

    great article colleen. thanks for this.

  7. Kathy Provost
    Kathy Provost at |

    I love your blunt honest writing about life. It is human and real , true and refreshing. It is hard to talk bluntly about real life, especially your own family life. Bravo, I hope it feels as therapeutic as it sounds! As for the “power surges” as I call them, there are several herbal remedies that have good effects for some people. Sage and Vitex ( Chaste berry) are specifically good for the flashing. Go to the health food store, good on ya for skipping the nasty stuff. I am with you, I just stay on the bitchy psycho path drug free! 😜

  8. Rhonda Gough
    Rhonda Gough at |

    Happy to see you are doing it your way, Colleen! You know my scepticism about pharmaceuticals. The evidence is just not there. Keep your rooms cool enough to “hang meat” in them, and the hot flashes will moderate. Kevin will adjust! 😘

    A fine piece of writing!

  9. Gwen
    Gwen at |

    Colleen, thank you for sharing this! And, I’m secretly glad you ditched the drugs and decided to sweat it out again. It sucks, for sure, but like you, I’m struggling with this very heated topic.

    When we talk to each other, and share our stories, it makes it all just a wee bit better. Hot flashers unite! (And by this, I don’t in any way mean the kind of flashers who actually flash… ) Drugs or no drugs, whatever makes the most sense for you is what makes the most sense to do. I applaud you for knowing what that is.

    Keep cool, baby!

  10. Susie
    Susie at |

    Bravo Colleen!

  11. Patricia Dawn Robertson
    Patricia Dawn Robertson at |

    Yes! I forgo sugar, booze. gluten and whole wheat and no hot flashes. I think Black Cohosh is supposed to help. If I cheat, I wake up at 3 a.m. with a blood sugar dip. And a mild flash lets me know I need to get back on track. I, too, come from a repressed family of pill poppers. Mum had a tacklebox of pharma next to her chair. When mum died, I needed a Mexican market bag to drop off her stash. So hear, hear for full disclosure. Sounds like you have the makings of a memoir project. Great story. I want to read more! That new place must be igniting your Muse.


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