once expanded to the dimensions of larger ideas,
never returns to its original size.”
– Oliver Wendell Holmes
Once upon a time in a land not so far from here, I was someone else.
I’m not sure when I became this new version of myself. It snuck up on me. I have no clearly delinineated border that says, here, here is where it all began.
But now that I am like this, I can no longer imagine ever returning to the previous state.
I used to take pride in my ability to respond to every email, every text message, every single blessed thing with hardly a second to spare. I swear that in one day I could meet up with a friend for coffee, deal with all the email correspondence, fire off a few queries, write an article, write a blog post, have a dinner party and pack for a trip.
And now? It takes me most of a week to do what I used to do in one day.
I’m not saying I’m easily overwhelmed, but let’s just say that I’d never book a doctor appointment and a hair cut on the same day.
Actually, overwhelmed is the wrong word. Let me try again. It’s like I am finding it more and more necessary to have space around each thing I do.
I want time to write, reflect, to sit, to read, to think.
It seems the urgency has gone.
I move more slowly through a day and, no surprise, the days feel fuller and less rushed. A day stretches and expands into a large malleable thing with less sharply-defined corners and more roundness.
It’s funny how completely different it is. Now, if I return an email on the same day, it’s almost akin to a loaves-and-fishes moment.
It seems that once a day has been stretched to take a week, well…like a big fat genie, there will be no stuffing it back in the bottle.