Guilt and resentment.

Most of us would rather talk about creativity and laughter. Or joy and kindness. Or some of those other happy-clappy affirmation-style feel-good words.

Sorry.

Perhaps some other time.

I found this quote recently and it struck me as invaluable advice. It is from Dr. Gabor Mate’s book, When the Body Says No. He says, “…when you have to choose between resentment and guilt, choose guilt every time.”  Because, “…resentment is soul destroying.”

Given my intimate and formidable knowledge of guilt, I’m not sure he understands all the soul bashing nuances of that particular emotion.

But even so, I agree with him that resentment is worse. Resentment is like battery acid, a corroding liquid that will wreak havoc on your mental, emotional, psychological, molecular and material self. Or as Mate adds later, “…resentment is like taking poison while hoping someone else will die of it.”

In other words? Resentment is bad.

It is a handy test. Pick any situation where you’re struggling with what to do. Imagine youself going ahead and doing this thing that is asked of you.  Will you resent it? If the answer is yes.  Just say no. (And yes, I know that is easier said than necessarily done. What can I tell you? This is advice. Do with it what you will).

Mate advises, that instead of subjecting ourselves to corrosive resentment, we should stick with the guilty feeling. Turns out it’s the healthier option.

Who knew?

Maybe this lifetime of Mennonite guilt means I’ve been doing it right all along.

Then again.

Maybe not.